Bernie

‘Which service do you require – fire, police, ambulance or Robert Jenrick?’

‘She just texted her first word.’

‘No wonder the prisons are full.’

‘Well, this isn’t at all what I imagined.’

‘Your guess is as good as mine.’

‘Are you “can’t work” or “won’t work”?’

‘Sell sourdough, buy crumpets!’

‘You’re not a bit like Daniel Craig.’

‘It’s not the first time she’s gone missing, but she’s never taken my Oyster card before.’

‘I’ve lost my taste for alcohol, but I’m determined to get it back.’

‘You’re going on a long journey.’

‘Smarten yourself up. It’s on in five minutes.’

‘At last – a successful reparation.’

‘Weird.’

‘I want you to alter the way you calculate my debt.’